Recently, a gentleman on the bus informed me that he’d singlehandedly solved the age old question that’s been irritating oh so many of us—why do some people push their carts directly down the middle the grocery store aisle?
“It’s because their houses are too square,” he said simply. “They’re used to lots of room on either side of them when they walk around, so they really can’t help it.” Apparently shoppers are like goldfish—they take up space based on the size of their home aquarium.
Despite their annoying behavior, he seemed to pity them. And he theorized that the only way to fix their quirk was to change the shape of their homes (rectangular being the obvious ideal shape since it closest resembles a grocery store aisle). He also worried that if houses continued to be built so boxy it could have more dangerous social repercussions like people driving right down the middle of the road.
I guess, all things considered, maybe the shopping cart phenomenon isn’t as bad as it could be since the poor little shoppers really can’t help that they live in little boxes.