2. When cracking an egg, you miss the pan entirely and the contents of the egg lands with a splat on the counter.
3. You’re afraid to open the cupboard door because every time you venture to take out a glass, your nose takes a beating.
4. You watch a movie feeling completely lost while wondering, “Why doesn’t it tell you where the characters are now?” Only to discover later that it had had subtitles the entire time and you never noticed.
5. You feel as if you’ve just completed the visual equivalency of a marathon every time you successfully read an entire chapter in only one sitting and then celebrate by closing the book.
6. When filling out a job application, you write down the skills and experiences that you feel make you a prime candidate for the job you’re currently applying for in the “Have you ever been convicted of a felony?” section.
7. Everyone else is able to read the street sign before you’re even able to see it.
8. Asking questions like, “Is this a ‘G’ or an ‘S?’” becomes a part of your daily life.
9. A page in a book comes closer to resembling Alphabet Soup than readable text.
10. To your shock, you discover one of your favorite clipart pictures of a beautiful, old cottage in the countryside is actually a picture of a riding lawnmower on a golf course.
When I originally wrote this (for another blog awhile back) I scored ten out of ten. I didn’t do quite as badly this time but I’m still scoring a bit too high on it, which is why I’m going to be making an appointment with the optometrist in the very near future.